Control

The more you try to control something. the more it controls you.

Free yourself and let things happen naturally.

Controlling and obsessing over a situation is not the answer. 

Let it go. It's hard when you are in pain but you must try. 

Sometimes letting go needs to happen to heal

to go within and actually see the light about this situation. 

Is this really for me?

Do not let your fears of being alone or whatever else get in the way. 

You must be honest with yourself.

fokus ke hal yang bisa dikendalikan

YANG BISA AKU KENDALIKAN

Caraku menyayangi diriku

Caraku memperlakukan orang lain

Pikiranku

Batasanku

Tindakanku

Perkataanku

Pendapatku

Caraku mengelola perasaanku

YANG TIDAK BISA AKU KENDALIKAN

Hal-hal di masa lalu

Waktu & cuaca

Apa yang orang lain katakan

Perlakuan orang lain

Perasaan orang lain

Apa yang orang lain pikirkan

A huge army is controlled by the king

it doesn't mean the king is stronger than the army.

A school is controlled by the principle

it doesn't mean principle is more intelligent than students.

A storm lighting can destroy a

mountain it doesn't mean the lighting is bigger than the mountain.

It doesn't mean how strong you are learn to control people

Who has control in a conversation, the guy listening or the talking?

The listener, of course.

That's because the talker is revealing information while the listener,

if he's trained well, is directing the conversation toward his own goals. 

He's harnessing the talker's energy for his own ends.

Listener's tools. They are not about strong arming your opponent into

 submission. Rather, they're about using the counterpart's power 

to get to your objective. They're listener's judo.

As you put listener's judo into practice, remember the following

powerful lessons:

Don't try to force your opponent to admit that you are right. 

Aggressive confrontation is the enemy of constructive negotiation.

■ Avoid questions that can be answered with "Yes" 

or tiny pieces of information. These require little thought and in- spire 

the human need for reciprocity; you will be 

expected to give something back.

■ Ask calibrated questions that start with the words "How" or "What." 

By implicitly asking the other party for help, these

questions will give your counterpart an illusion of control

and will inspire them to speak at length, revealing important information.

■ Don't ask questions that start with "Why" unless you want

your counterpart to defend a goal that serves you. "Why" is

always an accusation, in any language.