Parental Toxic

"Why do some parents secretly want you to stay average?"

Because the moment you outgrow their mindset,

you stop needing their approval.

And that scares them.

It's not always love 

Sometimes it's control in disguise.

Not every "sacrifice" is for you.

Some are just a leash with a smile.

🥗

According to psychology

people who don't know what they like or want are the 

children who had to please and constantly adapt to their toxic

parents/environment.

🥗

There's a reason why our parent's generation 

didn't appreciate mistakes, and why our generation does.

If you just observe, even the environment & tools they

used didn't allow them to make mistakes in the first place.

For instance, you couldn't make mistakes while writing with a

typewriter or while writing something with a fountain ink pen. 

But you can make mistakes and then correct them when writing

something on a digital keyboard or with a digital pencil.

Or in another instance, they couldn't afford to click a bad

picture on their cameras, but we can. 

Because we can correct it, delete it, or even keep it 

without being guilty for it.

It was in their mundane roots that they couldn't afford to make mistakes

And for us, it is easier to make

mistakes, accept them and move on with them.

So, don't blame your parents when they point out

mistakes in your every now and then. 

It's not them, it's the environment they grew up in.

🥗

Ciri Toxic parent

1. Suka bawa perasaan negatif ke kamu

Sering marah, menyalahkan, membicarakan keburukan

kamu terus menerus karena merasa kamu gak mendengarkan. 

Kamu menjadi marah, kecewa, gak berdaya dan 

berpikiran negatif tentang diri kamu sendiri.

2. Kamu sering dapet kekerasan fisik atau verbal

3. Gak bisa diajak kompromi

Susah buat diajak kompromi, komunikasi dan 

kita gak bisa nyampein pendapat. 

Kita harus nurut dan terkontrol banget

4. Egois dan gak peka

Mereka ngukur segala sesuatu sesuai perasaan, sudut

pandang, dan pemikirannya sendiri. Gak peka terhadap

kebutuhan dan perasaan kamu.

5. Usahamu kurang dihargai

Mereka punya ekspektasi sendiri yang kadang juga gak

masuk akal kepadamu. Jadinya kurang menghargai usaha

dan hasil yang kamu dapetin.

🥗

Alasan sebabnya orang tua kamu bisa menjadi toxic

1. Rasa sayang dan khawatir yang berlebihan sehingga

apa-apa mereka pengen tau dan pengen selalu terlibat

2. Ambisi dan ekspektasi orang tua di masa lalu yang belum

tercapai, jadinya kamu dituntut untuk melanjutkan

ambisi dan ekspektasi tersebut

3. Ada peristiwa traumatis yang pernah dialami orang tua.

4. Ada pengalaman pengasuhan yang kurang tepat di masa

perkembangan orangtua dulu.

5. Kurangnya wawasan dan pemahaman orang tua 

terhadap pengasuhan yang tepat dan efektif di masa sekarang

6. Orang tua punya isu isu yang belum diselesaikan atau 

gangguan psikologis

🥗